Our 5 year old daughter, Kumi is such an independent child. I know parents wish for their kids to be independent but I really find myself struggling a lot of times with my daughter because I feel like she is too independent (is there even such a thing?)…. she wants to do Everything by herself…..and yes, in some places, I need to let go and let her be, but other times, I still feel like some things she shouldn’t do on her own…like, I let her make cereal for her and her brother….that’s fine but she also like to make tea for herself and i think that’s a bit dangerous because there’s boiling water involved….but she’s so stubborn and strong-willed, I’ve given up and let her do it anyway…..initially with a little guidance, but now she does it without even asking. The other day, I was brewing coffee and asked her to go to the kitchen and switch the stove off for me….next thing I had a cup of coffee in my hand…haha!
So, I just pray for grace and wisdom to be able to know with all things when to hold her hand as a parent and when to let it go and be a friend.
I’ve realised there’s a parallel between our parenting relationships and our relationship with God. When I initially got to know God, my relationship with Him was a lot like that of a parent and a small child, His word holding my hand…..teaching me what to do and what not to do. And honestly, I can’t say I understood or agreed with everything that was in His word, but I let myself be guided because I trusted Him. Now, even though He is still very much my Father, I think in a lot of ways, our relationship is more like that of friends. He still holds my hand but we walk more side by side as friends now. And one thing I love the most is that as time goes by, He starts bringing an understanding to the things that i didn’t understand before. As with our parenting, there are some things that we will teach our children to do or not do, and they will not understand or might even fight us on those things, but later reap the rewards as they come to an understanding. I feel like with some things God and I are at that place where He shows me the wisdom and real understanding behind the things that He has taught….and it’s so cool, because it makes me feel like I’m not a child anymore but a grown up who can reason with my Father…..and now I even feel more at liberty to even question things that He says…and to really express my feelings when I don’t understand something, and we can really chat it out ….haha! But even so, there are still some areas where I’m still a baby…..some places where we are still pretty much at the basics haha! If this was a relationship on Facebook, it would be under “It’s Complicated” 😀
Urban Makoti 